There are several ways that a person can become afflicted with Zompire Dracularius. One way is to be bitten by a zombie or a vampire. However, just because you are bitten doesn’t mean you’ll get Zompire Dracularius. Studies have shown that Zompire Dracularius only occurs about 10 to 15 percent of the time when a subject is bitten, otherwise they just turn into a normal zombie or vampire (depending on what bit them). Other ways of contracting Zompire Dracularius include:

Coming in contact with a vampire squid or a vampire bat
Coming in contact with a computer with too many zombie processes
Going on too many zombie bar crawls
Eating too much Count Chocula cereal

My next article will feature side effects of Zompire Dracularius. Just remember that Zompire Dracularius is no laughing matterr…