Zompire Dracularius

The end is coming to Zompire Dracularius

zompiredracularius — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:30:13 +0000

The Zompire Dracularius epidemic has finally been contained. It appears that it has gone as suddenly as it came. Hopefully Zompire Dracularius will not evolve into some other mysterious disease, but nobody knows if that will happen. Thank you all for reading, and if Zompire Dracularius ever emerges again, I’ll be here to cover it.

Also, don’t check out this lame Zompire Dracularius website.

Zompire Dracularius spreading to New England?

zompiredracularius — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 03:40:53 +0000

There has been criticism of Randy Moss after yesterday’s game versus the Panthers. Apparently Moss has been slacking recently. For example, he was sent home Wednesday after showing up late for a team meeting, and in the past two games Moss has appeared disinterested and ineffective.

I think by now you know where I’m going with this… yep, Randy Moss has Zompire Dracularius. It doesn’t seem like it has gotten to Tom Brady or Wes Welker yet, but it seems to have hit Moss full-fledged. His recent game against the Panthers was terrible:
1 catch, which he fumbled, some drops, and a general lack of effort

I would say that classifies as a Zompire Dracularius performance.

Has the Men’s Gopher Basketball team shaken Zompire Dracularius?

zompiredracularius — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:40:44 +0000

Will the Gopher Basketball be able to avoid the same fate as the Steelers? After Thursday’s game against the Browns, the Steelers are all but screwed… and infected by Zompire Dracularius. Things are not looking good in Pittsburgh. The Gophers on the other hand have shaken off their infliction of Zompire Dracularius, and seemed poised to make a strong finish to non-conference play. Zompire Dracularius is unpredictable however, and a loss today to the Saint Joseph Hawks would be one more nail in the coffin for the Gophers.

How will Zompire Dracularius affect tonights game?

zompiredracularius — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:33:01 +0000

Tonights game featuring one dead team, riddled with Zompire Dracularius, and another team that seems headed to the grave as well. If the Steelers lose to the Browns tonight, then coach Tomlin’s comment of “unleashing hell in December” will come true… Hell will open up, swallow the Pittsburgh Steelers, and then slowly digest them, where they will rot alongside the Cleveland Browns.

If that doesn’t sound like a sure-fire way to come down with Zompire Dracularius, then I don’t know what is. We’ll see tonight if the Steelers can resist Zompire Dracularius, or if they will succumb to it like so many athletes have…

Zompire Dracularius from Mexico?

zompiredracularius — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:45:17 +0000

Once again Ochocinco is in the news again for his crazy antics. Recently the NFL fined him for wearing a gray poncho and black sombrero after catching a touchdown.

What does this have to do with Zompire Dracularius? I think this could possibly be a sign of the origins of Zompire Dracularius. Could it be that Zompire Dracularius is from Mexico? Vampires have history in Mexico, and date back to the time of the Mayas. Vampires have also shown up in Mayan art and literature. So where are the zombies in all of this? Well, according to a reliable source there are already zombies in Mexico! Case closed.

Zompire Dracularius Craziness

zompiredracularius — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:18:30 +0000

Often times it can be difficult to tell if someone is infected by Zompire Dracularius just by how crazy they are. However, I think in this case it is pretty clear… look at this picture and try to tell me that this person isn’t crazy:

Yes, I do believe that Joakim Noah is inflicted with Zompire Dracularius. Recently during a Chicago Bulls and Cleveland Caviler game he got a little upset with The King’s dance moves:

Zompire Dracularius

I almost stopped watching before they showed LeBron dancing, but I’m glad I didn’t because it almost made laugh out loud in class. The conclusion that I draw out of all this… well, Joakim Noah has Zompire Draacularius… but I mainly just wanted to post a funny video of LeBron dancing.

Tweet Confessions – What can’t Zompire Dracularius do to people?

zompiredracularius — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:58:35 +0000

Tonight’s game feature the New York Jets and the Buffalo Bills will prove to be an interesting one… for all those in the state of New York. Whats more interesting though is a recent tweet by Terrell Owens:

“Sometimes, especially during ma games, I get this… this… irrquenchable hunger. Normally I thirst for, ya know, blood, but sometimes it’s just somethin weird… like popcorn.”

I’m pretty sure this is a Zompire Dracularius case. Also suspicious is Owens’ recent emergence to relevancy in the past couple weeks. Perhaps a result of Zompire Dracularius? No one can be sure, for Zompire Dracularius is a mysterious illness at times.

Zompire Dracularius breaks the ankles of U of M basketball players

zompiredracularius — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:02:15 +0000

Minnesota Men’s Basketball dropped like a rock in the latest AP Top 25 poll, leading to allegations that Zompire Dracularius could be the cause of it. Tubby Smith replied directly to these allegations.

“We’ve had some recent issues. Our boys had a little too much fun at Disneyland prior to the start of the tournament games, and came in contact with a foreign virus, but everyone should be fine from here on out,” Tubby Smith said.

This has caused concern among University of Minnesota students, especially ones that regularly attend basketball games.

“I’ve always been a big supporter of Gopher basketball,” said one fan, “but if they’ve got Zompire Dracularius then I don’t know what I’ll do. It’s hard to get excited over a team that loses a lot, and the Gophers always seem to let me down in March.”

Will this be a lasting issue, or will the Gophers manage to shake off the infamous Zompire Dracularius and return to their winning ways tomorrow against Miami University?

Hines Ward – Zompire Dracularius?

zompiredracularius — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:21:29 +0000

Zompire Dracularius has fallen out of news recently due to the recent hoopla over concussions. Here is what Hines Ward had to say about Ben Roethlisberger’s concussion after their loss to the Baltimore Ravens:

This game is almost like a playoff game. It’s almost a must-win. I could see some players or teammates questioning, like ‘It’s just a concussion. I’ve played with a concussion before.’”

Well Mr. Ward, perhaps you should consider the long term effects of getting a second concussion within a certain time frame after getting the first. It can cause permanent brain damage. Since you seem oblivious to such reasoning, I believe you not to have a brain, and the only way you can’t have a brain but still play football is…. Yep, Zompire Dracularius strikes again! Clearly the players that have sat out of games after suffering a concussion can’t have Zompire Dracularius because they HAVE a brain.

Speaking of Ward, he was voted the NFL’s dirtiest player this year by current NFL players in a poll conducted by Sports Illistrated. He received 11.6% of the votes, and the next closest was Albert Haynesworth with 6%. I find it hard to believe that someone without a vicious disease as Zompire Dracularius could be voted the dirtiest player in football.

Zompire Dracularius could be spreading

zompiredracularius — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:53:31 +0000

Is Zompire Dracularius spreading to the rest of the NFL? It’s quite possible. Based on the Texan’s fans, it appears that Houston is at risk:

The Detroit Lions have also had some strange activity. I don’t think it’s quite Zompire Dracularius, but something is definitely wrong here…

Not having a brain… or a head even… now I understand why Detroit is so bad. When asked about the increasingly likely possibility that Zompire Dracularius is effecting the level of play in the NFL, Roger Goodell responded with, “ Braaaaaains…. BRAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!” Who knows, maybe the Lions will be the first team exported to Europe. They’re all crazy over there anyway.